Okay, we’re back. Let’s see what else Mohammed has to say in this Surah.
So if you outlaw religious expression of God and desecrate houses of worship, you’re going to hell.
Everything belongs to God. He’s all-knowing and all-present.
Christians say God has a son, but Mohammed says God owns everything and all are obedient to God, which… didn’t we just go over Satan and mankind being disobedient? I’m a bit confused. Is he saying that God ordains creatures to disobedience and evil too?
God’s given you all the signs you need, so stop asking for more proof…
If you convert from Islam to Christianity or Judaism, then God will be mad at you.
You’re a loser if you’re not a Muslim.
And we’re back to talking about the Jews. Remember God’s blessing, they’re his favorite people… but they need to look out for judgement day. (Duh duh duh duh duh…Terminator theme!)
God promised Abraham that he would be a leader of humanity. Abraham asks about his kids, but God says ‘I’m not promising the sinners anything.’
Abraham prays that God would bless the obedient, and God says “Yeah, yeah, but seriously, I’m going to set the unbelievers on fire forever and it’s going to suuuuuuuuuck.”
Abraham and Ishmael pray that God would accept their worship and make them submissive to Him and forgive their sins.” This must have happened before Abe kicked Ishmael and Hagar out into the desert to die. Father of the year, that one.
Oh, and they finish the prayer by asking God to send a prophet to teach them all about Islam. Wow, that’s some foresight.
Abraham tells his kids and Jacob… wait.. was Abraham alive when Jacob was born… quick Google search.. oh, hey, yeah, according to the biblical timeline, they did share a few years together. I bet Isaac never let him go camping with Grandpa alone. Ha ha ha… yeah… he tried to kill Isaac once…
Anyway, Abraham teaches them about God and his religion Islam and Jacob teaches his kids, and if Christians and Jews say they’re right about religion, you can say that we respect all of the prophets, but follow and submit to God.
God is… the best at… coloring? Okay, yeah, I guess that makes sense.
Tell those Christians and Jews that you don’t want to argue about theology because you all worship the same God even if you’ve gotten it right.
God wants you to pray facing Mecca so we can tell who is right and who is wrong.
Don’t be skeptical and question things. Okay, no, I’m sorry, even if I don’t agree with him on everything, I think Paul had a better outlook, “Test everything, hold fast to what is true.” If something is from God, it should be able to stand skeptical inquiry.
Seriously… face Mecca when you pray.
Remember God and say, “Thanks.” He appreciates it.
There is an afterlife.
Some of your lives are going to suuuuuuck, but it’s just God testing you. That sounds familiar.
God has two sacred hills named Safa and Marwa and if you’re on pilgrimage, you should walk around them. God appreciates it.
If you reject faith, God tortures you with fire forever.
There is only one God. Benevolent and Compassionate. (Of course, there’s the problem of evil again… it’s difficult to believe that pediatric cancer is somehow part of a benevolent deity’s plan for humanity.)
Man… this is harder than the bible to read through. Maybe it flows better in Arabic, but Mohammed seems to be jumping around all over the place a lot in the English translation.