Nerd News: Spider-man edition


Chris Cooper has signed on to play Norman Osborn in Marc Webb’s The Amazing Spider-Man 2 for Columbia Pictures.

So there’s that. I have to admit, I generally don’t think of Cooper when I think of Osborn, but the guy is a great actor.

For those who came in late, Norman Osborn is a wealthy owner and CEO of Oscorp. He was born to an alcoholic, abusive father, and in turn became an abusive father of his own (though mostly emotional and psychological abuse) to his son Harry, who was Spider-man’s best friend, when Harry wasn’t off trying to kill Peter Parker.

Norman gets into an accident involving SCIENCE! as all comic book heroes/villains/extras/random pets do, and gets super-strength and super-intelligence at the cost of being super-insane. So he puts on a Green Goblin costume, gets himself a jet glider and starts trying to take over organized crime in the city. Osborn figures out who Spider-man is, plans an overly elaborate death for the hero, and is shocked (shocked!) when Spider-man escapes and promptly knocks him into some electrical wires which give Norman selective amnesia so he no longer remembers who Spider-man is, because of course it does.

Osborn gets his memory back whenever the plot gods demand and then promptly gets amnesia by the end of the book for a few issues, until he comes back as the Green Goblin and promptly throws Gwen Stacy off of a bridge, forcing Spider-man to try and rescue her, which inadvertently kills her and, uh… spoiler alert, I guess.

Osborn later gets stabbed with his own glider in the ensuing fight with Spider-man, and yes, this is almost exactly like the end of the Raimi Spider-man movie except Mary Jane lived, which is a pity, because that Mary Jane sucked.

So now we have a dead true love and a dead nemesis and some genius decides, two great tastes should taste great together, revisiting Spider-man’s past to reveal the Gwen Stacy cheated on Peter Parker with Norman Osborn and became pregnant with his twins.

Osborn comes back, because Death installed a revolving door in hell, and causes Spider-man some grief before being tossed into jail.

Osborn gets loose, seeming dies, moves to Europe, comes back, takes medication and is chosen by the government to lead a team of superheroes before being promoted to the head of SHIELD, because… the hell if I know… seriously, you’d think Uncle Sam would do a background check before turning over the world’s premier spy agency to a man with deep psychological problems.

Norman gets involved in hunting down superheroes before deciding to attack Asgard which was then located in Arizona, I believe, because… seriously, does anything I tell you surprise you at this point? I could tell you that the heroes and villains all linked hands and sang “My Little Buttercup” and it would be plausible at this point, right?

Norman is defeated, gets thrown into prison again, gets out and is now planning on trying to kill Spider-man again, who (spoilers) is now the mind of Dr. Octopus trapped inside Peter Parker’s body.

Comics, everyone.

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