Nerd News Roundup

GI Joe:

If I have to choose between the two, I’d rather you continue to support the Joes and let Transformers die a well-deserved, fiery death in the deepest pits of hell.

So I’m glad you people got the first half of the equation right and paid (world-wide) 132 million dollars to see GI Joe: Retaliation where ninjas fought each other on cliffs, as opposed to the less well-received GI Joe:Retailiation which involved Duke, Scarlett, and Snake Eyes getting a job at a Forever 21 outlet.

Paramount executives had this to say while announcing they were making another one:


Hey, kids, are you sad that the Bioshock movie isn’t happening? Upset that your PS3 has completely crapped out after 3 years while other far older systems are ringing in their Silver anniversary in your home and you can’t play the new Bioshock game and you have to console yourself with playing the original HALO once again on your still working X-Box, thank you very much Sony.

Sigh… I’m not bitter.

Someone has helpfully spent three days of their life that they’ll never get back chronicling, editing, and compiling their entire game experience from the opening cinematic to the last. As with all things, it’s up on You Tube now, io9 has it embedded here, which is where I found it.

Justice League Dark

Guillermo Del Toro continues his overly-elaborate April Fools’ Day prank on nerds that is Justice League Dark by letting us know that he’s got his movie’s ‘bible’ all worked out and has settled on John Constantine as the lead. (Though I’m guessing we’re not going to see Keanu reprise the role that made a 1,000 nerds’ heads explode in rage.)

On Justice League Dark, or Dark Universe, what we’re doing is we finished the bible. Then we’re going to start the screenplay with a writer we hope we can announce very soon. What I’m doing is the lead character that guides us through that is Constantine. Blonde. He is basically trying to recruit these guys. On Etrigan, I’m using Jason Blood in the time of Merlin. We get to their origin through the story. We don’t make the origin story at the top. We find it out as they each have mysteries to solve. Swamp Thing is at peace with who he is, but Deadman still needs to figure out who shot him. It’s all woven in. When I was a kid, my two favorite characters in the whole DC Universe were Etrigan and Swamp Thing, so I’m in heaven.

It’s worth remembering that Del Toro has somewhere between a bajillionty and a googleplex of pitches and ideas and scripts in various states of progress, so chances are he’ll be dead long before he gets to this one, and the Universe will likely experience heat death long before a Justice League movie of any sort ever makes it out of Warner Brothers.


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