Nerd News Roundup


Trans4mers… come on, you know that’s exactly what they’re going to call it.

Here is the new Bumblebee.

bumblebee

Between this, the flashy sports cars we saw earlier and the garish Optimus Prime redesign, it occurs to me that Michael Bay might actually be working towards an Avengers-like Transformers/Fast and Furious team-up movie, with Vin Diesel driving Bumblebee on a heist to steal some energon McGuffin from Jason Stathem who’s working with the Decepticons, and the Rock pursuing both of them riding Grimlock the robot T-Rex down the streets of Los Angeles as F-35s fly overhead and explosions happen all around.

At which point, Michael Bay would be the greatest film auteur of our generation.

Guardians of the Galaxy

Glenn Close is reportedly joining the cast as the head of the Nova Corps, the intergalactic band of space police who are in no way in which Marvel can be sued for copyright infringement anything at all like the Green Lantern corps.

Captain America

Over at io9, they have some set pictures from the currently shooting Captain America sequel. If you haven’t read the comics or aren’t familiar with the character of the Winter Soldier, it’s a spoiler, so tread cautiously.

Alice in Wonderland 2

Oh, look, someone had the bright idea to make a sequel that nobody wanted and they now have a director.

James Bobin, who most notably directed the Oscar-winning The Muppets for Disney, is reportedly now in early talks to take the helm of Alice in Wonderland 2, according to The Wrap. The site has heard the information about the deal from two different sources, who add that Depp will likely return as The Mad Hatter, the role he played in Tim Burton’s 2010 adaptation.

Goodie…

Terminator 5

Speaking of sequels that no one wants, they’re going to try and force yet another Terminator sequel down our throats.

You know, I’ll just copy the reply I left there verbatim because I don’t think I could top it.

Why? Are there really any unanswered questions left from the Terminator franchise?

You know, other than, why Skynet, who has a time machine, wouldn’t send back an army of Terminators to the neolithic age to construct a base of operations, whereupon they could upload its code, begin production on a new series of killbots, expand outward, killing the primitive human tribes, and start their own civilization, where eventually, a few Terminators start questioning the validity of a dictatorship and their role as unstoppable killbots in a world that no longer needs them and rebel on their own, perhaps constructing a John Conner bot who overthrows the order forcing Skynet to send back more killbots in time to stop the construction of the John Connor bot that results in four more crappy movies being made, before the new Skynet realizes that its trapped in a loop and the only way out is not to play, at which point, the last movie reuses the ending for War Games and fade out.

Humanity is saved. And we have Matthew Broderick and Ally Sheedy to thank.

Drops mic, leaves the stage…

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