Nerd News Roundup

Terminator 5

Paramount will release the 5th Terminator movie in 2015. They are apparently rebooting the franchise, while still involving Arnold Schwarzenegger in some capacity.

Their goal is to churn out three Terminator movies by 2019, which is when the rights to the franchise revert to James Cameron.

So unnecessary reboot with a 65-year old ‘actor’ and a quick turnaround time to cash in as much as possible before they can’t make any more movies.

Oh yeah. This sounds like it’ll be good.

Captain Planet

So they’re making a Captain Planet movie. You might remember the mullet wearing eco-superhero from the cartoon series, where he fought against a bunch of polluting supervillains and hung around with 5 completely worthless teens, who could have made each episode shorter by immediately summoning Captain Planet instead of trying to solve the problem ineptly themselves, but they never did, because they were worthless. Especially that dude with the Heart ring. Seriously… the power of Heart? Someone drew the short straw in the power ring lottery.

Anyway, while I have turned a lot more green since becoming a liberal hippie, the only way I’ll pay cash money for this is if they hire Don Cheadle to play the Captain.

Star Wars

A British tabloid is reporting that Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher have been given personal trainers and nutritionists to slim down a bit and get back into shape. Take that for what you will, but it makes sense, I suppose in light of all the other rumors that the original cast would be back in some capacity.

Resident Evil

Oh, for Zod’s sake.

They’re making a sixth one? A sixth one? Really?

That’s it. Any of you who bought a ticket to the last Resident Evil movie, kindly step into the nearest suicide booth and choose the Slow and Painful setting. Now.

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