Weird Wednesdays: In which a priest, a Jew, and a Midianite princess have the worst threesome ever


6 Then behold, one of the sons of Israel came and brought to his relatives a Midianite woman, in the sight of Moses and in the sight of all the congregation of the sons of Israel, while they were weeping at the doorway of the tent of meeting. 7 When Phinehas the son of Eleazar, the son of Aaron the priest, saw it, he arose from the midst of the congregation and took a spear in his hand, 8 and he went after the man of Israel into the tent and pierced both of them through, the man of Israel and the woman, through the body. So the plague on the sons of Israel was checked. 9 Those who died by the plague were 24,000.

Dude, come on Phinehas… did you not see the necktie on the tent flap? Oh… you did.. Erk….

See, it was wrong to get together with the Midianite ladies. You know… at least until 7 chapters later when Moses tells the soldiers to let the young Midianite virgins live and divvy them up between the soldiers. The lesson here is patience. If only this guy could have waited and not had sex with a Midianite woman right then, he would have had his pick of 12-15 year old Midianite girls a little later.

For the record… because there is no sarcasm font… I find the idea of that last sentence repulsive.

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