Bible Family Values, Part 6: In which our nationalist author declares his hated ethnic rivals to be inbred bastards…


30 And Lot went up out of Zoar and dwelt in the mountain, and his two daughters with him, for he feared to dwell in Zoar; and he lived in a cave, he and his two daughters.

31 The elder said to the younger, Our father is aging, and there is not a man on earth to live with us in the customary way.

32 Come, let us make our father drunk with wine, and we will lie with him, so that we may preserve offspring (our race) through our father.

33 And they made their father drunk with wine that night, and the older went in and lay with her father; and he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she arose.

34 Then the next day the firstborn said to the younger, See here, I lay last night with my father; let us make him drunk with wine tonight also, and then you go in and lie with him, so that we may preserve offspring (our race) through our father.

35 And they made their father drunk with wine again that night, and the younger arose and lay with him; and he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she arose.

36 Thus both the daughters of Lot were with child by their father.

37 The older bore a son, and named him Moab [of a father]; he is the father of the Moabites to this day.

38 The younger also bore a son and named him Ben-ammi [son of my people]; he is the father of the Ammonites to this day.

You can almost feel the glee with which the author writes this passage about two of his nation’s hated ethnic enemies.

“Yeah, well, I’m writing the stories now, and I’m going to make you jerks inbred bastards born of drunken fornication!”

Anyway, with that, the story of Lot comes to an end, and gay marriage is looking much better than most of the relationships we’ve seen in the bible thus far.

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