The TL:DR Bible: Numbers 18-20

Chapter 18:

The distinction between the priests and Levites is made again. The priests are Aaron’s family, the Levites are Aaron’s clan.

The Levites are tasked to serve in the tent of meeting, but were not permitted to serve with the altar or inner sanctum, or God would kill them all, including Aaron and his family.

Aaron and his kids get to eat from the sacrifices, the Levites get the tithe that the Israelites were supposed to donate to God. Then the Levites were to donate 10% to Aaron and they got to keep the rest as food and money for their survival.

It was good to be the priest… except for the whole thing about God maybe killing you and your entire family because some idiot stepped too close to the altar.


Chapter 19:

God wants them to kill a red cow and burn it to ashes for some reason… maybe because it’s Tuesday. Who knows? But everyone involved has to wash up and do their laundry to be clean again.

In fact, everyone who touches a dead body or is near a dead body in a tent is unclean seven days and has to wash and do their laundry to be clean again or they should be killed. And then the next guy who buries them has to wash and do his laundry on the seventh day or he has to be killed. And then the guy who buries the guy who buried the other guy who buried the first dead man has to do his laundry and wash on the seventh day or he dies…


Chapter 20:

Miriam dies.

There is no water and everyone complains about it wondering why Moses ever led them out of slavery to die in the desert.

Surprisingly, God is actually pretty chill about the complaints this time. No plagues, no fire, he just tells Moses to go and speak to a rock and water will come out of it.

But Moses is a bit pissed, and he comes out saying, “Hey, you rebellious jerks, you want water? HERE!” and he smacks the rock with Aaron’s rod… nope… and water flows out of the rock and everyone drinks.

So God calls Moe over and tells him that he’s going to die in the desert too.

Moses asks the king of Edom to let them walk through their land. He says no and sends out the army to prevent them, so they go a different way.

They arrive at Mt. Hor… nope… and God tells Aaron to pass the priesthood to his son Eleazar because he’s going to die that day. So Aaron passes the priesthood to his son and dies. Everyone weeps for him.


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