The TL:DR Bible: Ecclesiastes 1-3

I love Ecclesiastes. Always have.

Maybe it’s the rebel in me, but I’ve always been attracted to this book of the bible because every pastor, preacher, and good Christians disavows it, while they still try to pretend that it’s the word of God.

Traditionally, it’s written by Solomon near the end of his life.


Chapter 1:

Life is meaningless. It is completely devoid of purpose. What do our lives profit us? Our grandparents were born, they lived, they  died. Our parents were born, lived, and died. Now we are, we live, and we will die and our children and their children and so forth forever.

The Earth continues to spin, waters continue to flow.

Life is a drudgery, a burden to us. We’re never satisfied. And when we are gone, we and all of our wisdom and works, will be forgotten.

I was a king. I set out to become the wisest and most learned man who ever lived. I’ve seen it all now. And it’s all fucking pointless.

Even wisdom is pointless. Because the smarter you are, the more you realize that there is no purpose, no point to anything.

Then Solomon put on a Smiths’ album, sat in the darkness for a while and cried.


Chapter 2:

So I tried to distract myself and find a point in pleasure. I drank a lot. I ate a lot. I bought nice things. I built houses and gardens and parks. I had a private forest. I bought men and women as slaves. I acquired great wealth so that I was the wealthiest man in the nation. And I bought sex slaves… a lot of sex slaves.  I spent like a drunken rock star.

And it was all pointless.

So I tried wisdom and folly. I saw that wisdom seemed better than folly, but both the wise and the fool die and end up in the grave. And both are forgotten.

So I hated life.

Then I realized that everything I had accomplished in life, I would lose when I died and it would pass on to my idiot son, Rehoboam. He did nothing for it except get lucky to be born my kid, and he’s probably going to fuck it all up.

So eat, drink, and tell yourself that it matters. Hell, even try religion.

But it’s all pointless.


Chapter 3:

There is a time for everything in its season. God made everything appropriate in time, and put eternity in our desires.

I know there’s nothing better than to rejoice and do good in our lifetimes. If you can eat and drink and find goodness in your life, that is a gift from God.

But everything that has been, will be.

I watched the righteous man and the wicked man. I told myself that God will judge them. But in the end, both died. Our fates are the same as the fate of beasts. Animals die, we die. We all go to the grave. There is no advantage in being a man. You don’t know what happens when we die. No one does.

So there is nothing better than for a man to be happy in his works, because death awaits us all and after that, who knows?

Happy Monday, everyone!

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