The TL:DR Bible: Song of Solomon 4


Pillow talk ensues…

Chapter 4:

Man: God, girl, you are so hot. Your eyes are like doves. Your hair is like a flock of goats. You’ve got all your teeth. Your lips are red. Your temples are like… pomegranates… uh… your neck is like a tower of a castle…built out of rocks… where they hang a thousand shields. Your boobs are like baby deer…I am totally going to play with them.

So… feeling hot yet, ladies?

Man: You’re just so hot, girl… I want you to come with me… from Lebanon… up the summit of Amana… from the dens of lions…

He’s talking about fucking, right? I think he’s talking about fucking…

Man: You make my heart beat faster, my sister…

Eww… Solomon into some freaky stuff, man….

Man: Sex with you is better than drinking. Your lips drip honey and milk…

That’s not honey…

Man: And you smell like Lebanon.

Hot? Sweaty? Like a desert? Hummus? Falalfel?

Man: My sister bride is like my personal garden where I can go in and enjoy her fruits.

Solomon was definitely a cunning linguist.

Man: I totally want to smell your genitals and go down on you.

And I’m guessing he wants you to call him your brother while he’s doing it.

 

 

 

Advertisements

One thought on “The TL:DR Bible: Song of Solomon 4

  1. Amtep

    Lebanon used to be famous for its cedar forests, so that’s probably what she smells like. Clearly she’s taken her grandma’s wedding dress out of the old chest for this scene.

    Like

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s