The TL:DR Bible: Isaiah 11-14

Chapter 11:

After God is done judging Judah, then a new king from David’s line will arise. The Spirit of the Lord will rest upon him and he will do what is right. He will lead a just kingdom that remembers the poor and oppressed. He will destroy the wicked. He will bring about perfect peace, even in the animal kingdom. Then all nations will come to Judah to be a part of this kingdom. God will call all of the scattered Jews back to Judah and they will live in security, but no so their neighbors whom they will raid and plunder and conquer and God will kill all of those Philistines and Ammonites, Edomites, and Moabites completely… which should be pretty easy as they don’t actually exist anymore.


Chapter 12:

Then all of the Jews will say, “Thanks, God for not killing us all and saving us and giving us this land and letting us kill all of our enemies.”


Chapter 13:

About Babylon:

God is going to use Babylon as his scourge against the world before allowing the Medes to conquer the city, kill most of the city, and utterly destroy the Babylon so no one ever inhabits it again. The Medes and Persians did sack the city, but Babylon remained inhabited up until the 9th century AD.

I know that’s good enough for most apologists, but it seems a bit like cheating. Seems like Isaiah could have said the city will be conquered and then… you know, eventually, it will be completely deserted some 1500 years from now.


Chapter 14:

On that day that Babylon falls and Israel is back in the land… which… didn’t happen until after Babylon actually fell… Israel will sing a taunt to the king of Babylon:

How the mighty has fallen, everyone is super happy about your misery, the grave is happy to see you. All of the former kings will greet you as an equal now: dead and powerless. Maggots devour your flesh. You have fallen from the heights of heaven, and been cut down to the grave.

You said you would be like God, but you dwell now in the pit and the grave. Men who see you wonder how such a pitiful one could have frightened the nations. You will not be buried with honor because you disgraced and ruined your nation.

Oh, and God is going to destroy Assyria too.

But don’t you be happy about it Philistines because God will totally smite you guys too.


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