Fast Food Review: Taco Bell: Naked Chicken Chips

Naked Chicken sounds healthy. It’s a great marketing name.

Naked Chicken Chips, however, are not healthy.

They are greasy triangles of pounded chicken meat that is breaded, deep-fried, and dipped in nacho cheese sauce, then shoveled into your gaping maw to be chewed up and go straight to the good Lord’s work of clogging your arteries.

They taste like fried chicken and regret, as if the bird had made many questionable life choices, got into debt with some Russian chickens, lost his job crowing in the morning at the farmhouse, had his chicken girlfriend break up with him, and decided that rather than go out like some chump, he’d take the world down with him one fatty bite of food at a time so he ran off to the Taco Bell slaughterhouse.


I have become death. The destroyer of worlds – Clucky the Chicken

If you’ve likewise made poor life choices, you can enjoy a box of food that includes six Naked Chicken Chips, a burrito supreme (there’s lettuce in it… that’s kind of a vegetable, right?), a regular taco, and a sugary caffeinated drink to wash it down with and lubricate its way directly to your colon for $5.

It’s not a bad deal except for your aforementioned colon.


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