The TL:DR Bible: Luke 21-22

Chapter 21:

Here’s the story of the poor widow giving every cent she had to the Temple. Jesus says she has given more than everyone else. Do we really want to be encouraging poor widows to send their Social Security checks to churches?

The disciples comment on how awesome the Temple looks, Jesus says it’s going to be destroyed. Then goes on to list a bunch of things related to the Temple’s destruction like:

  • Don’t trust other guys who claim to be the Messiah.
  • Wars will happen.
  • Earthquakes
  • Diseases and famine.

The Jews are going to persecute the church. The disciples will have a chance to share their faith in front of various Roman officials. And everyone’s going to hate them because Jesus. Which may have applied in 1st century Rome, but now most folks hate them because of their political involvement and hypocrisy.

When you see the Romans surrounding Jerusalem, then you guys will know that it’s end is near… well… yeah… kinda obvious at that point.

Everything will be miserable for the people trapped in Jerusalem, which… it was. And then all sorts of supernatural signs will happen and Jesus will show up to wrap everything up.

This generation will not pass away until all these things are fulfilled. So, if Jesus was right, somewhere out there is a 2,100 year old immortal Jew who was one of his disciples.

Then they leave Jerusalem and Jesus sleeps on the Mount of Olives.


Chapter 22:

Judas gets possessed by the devil in his version of the story and sells out Jesus… which… brings up all sorts of theological issues about Judas’ guilt in Jesus’ betrayal. If the literal devil crawls into your skin and makes you do something, how can you be responsible for doing that?

Jesus arranges to crash at someone’s home to eat the Passover meal.

Jesus eats the meal with his disciples and has the First Communion.

The disciples start wondering what the pecking order is among them and Jesus says, “People in the world lord their power over others, but it is not this way with you.”

Clearly Jesus hasn’t been to a church council meeting lately.

“The leader among you must serve the rest, as I have served you. You have stuck with me for all these years, and you will sit with me in Dad’s kingdom judging the tribes of Israel.”

“Also, Peter, you’re going to deny me three times.”

“Did you ever lack when I sent you out with no money?”

“No, Lord.”

“Now everyone take money with them on their journey. And if you don’t have a sword tonight, buy a sword, so the prophesy can be fulfilled that I was numbered with the transgressors.”

“We’ve got two swords!”

“Enough,” Jesus said.

“Should we get some AR-15’s a bazooka too?”

“Sigh…. #missingthepoint,” Jesus said.

So they go out to the Garden of Gethsemane and Jesus prays again asking God not to kill him but to find another way because He’s God and He can do anything… but He won’t do that. Yes, I will work a Meatloaf reference into the Passion narrative.

Judas betrays Jesus. Peter hacks off the ear of the high priest’s slave and Jesus rebukes him and heals the slave’s ear. Jesus is arrested again. Everyone flees again. Somehow we still get a narrative even though no one was there… again.

Peter denies Jesus again.

Jesus gets beaten again.

Everyone says, “Are you the Messiah?” to Jesus again. Jesus answers, “Yep and I will come in glory with the power of God.”

And then they say, “Well, that’s enough for us. Let’s kill the dude.”


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