An Infidel Reads the Quran: Surah 15: The Rock

Mohammed continues to have issues with skeptics. People ask for proof of the supernatural and Mohammed says, “Yeah, I can’t do that, but you’ll see one day and even if I could call down angels and make you all float up to heaven, you wouldn’t believe anyway.”

“Also, we never murdered and set fire to any town that didn’t deserve it.”

If you want proof of Islam, look at the stars and constellations. Or read an astronomy book and find out how the stars really got there.

Oh, and also proof of God, you guys haven’t had any demons attack, have you?

God spread out the Earth and tacked it down with some stakes to keep it from rolling up.

And look at the job creation numbers! God is a great president, isn’t he?

And God brings fertilizing winds… which… okay… I assume this is a regional thing or it refers to rain, because winds don’t fertilize plants.

God made us, even though it looks like we’re the product of billions of years of evolution, God made us directly from mud.

God also makes genies out of fire.

Mohammed repeats himself about Satan being all pissed off that God wanted him to bow before mankind.

“Bow down before Adam,” said God.

“No,” said Satan.

“Why not, Satan?”

“Okay, first, Satan isn’t a name I should have yet. Satan means adversary. At this point, we’re still on the same side, but seriously, you made this thing out of mud.”

“Then you are outcast.”

“Could you put it off for a while, until the judgment day?”

“Sure, I guess so.”

“Oh, and since I’m called Satan even though it didn’t make any sense, are you cool if I stick around here on the Earth leading a lot of these precious mud men creations off to damnation?”

“Yeah, that sounds right. You do that,” said the Lord. “I’m the good guy in this story.”

Hey, have you guys heard the story about Abraham and the angelic visitors and Lot and Sodom and Gomorrah? You have? Well, too bad, I’m going to tell it anyway and make it even more boring than the last time I told it.

And see? That’s just like the people we tried to convert in the woods and killed and the people in Mecca… who we also killed and took over their city…

You guys just keep on preaching the message and God (or us) will take care of the unbelievers.


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