An Infidel Reads the Quran: Surah 16: The Bee

God made everything. God made humans from a drop of fluid… Yeah, I’m thinking it too.

God made livestock for us so we could travel and eat. Surely this is proof of God.

Okay, I see there are still some doubters, so surely the stars and sun and moon are proof of God…?

Look at the plants and how you can eat some of them, that’s God right?

Well, what about all of the colors then? That’s gotta be God, right?

Also, the proof of God is in rivers, landmarks and roads…

Back to how unbelievers will one day stand before God and plead their case, but the angels will lead them off to the gates of Hell where they will dwell “Forever”.

And good Muslims get to go to a nice garden with plenty of water.

God picks out who repents and who doesn’t. But somehow he needs messengers to go out and convert people.

Some people say God won’t resurrect the dead, but Mohammed says, “Yes, he will!”

“45. Do those who scheme evils feel secure that God will not cause the earth to cave in with them, or that the punishment will not come upon them from where they do not perceive? Or that He will not seize them during their activities? And they will not be able to prevent it. Or that He will not seize them while in dread? Your Lord is Gentle and Merciful.”

God’s got a lot of work to be done. There is a lot of evil men who pillage and exploit the poor and oppress the innocent and pervert justice and they are rolling in the money. So, uh, why isn’t he doing something about that?

I guess Mohammed’s not answering that because then he goes into another round of God does everything, so if your life is good, it’s because of God. If your life sucks, it’s because of God. And if we’re not grateful for it, we’ll know soon.

Ah, there we go… well, if God punished people for all of their evil now, he’d have to kill us all. But he’ll do it eventually. Trust me. One day… not when you or I are here, but one day, God will do it finally.

“And they attribute to God what they themselves dislike, while their tongues utter the lie that theirs is the goodness.”

Congratulations. You’ve just described every religion ever.

Seriously, guys, rain proves God exists. Also milk. And fruit. Oh, and honey from bees! Surprisingly, Mohammed does recognize that honey has some antibiotic qualities. People used to use it on wounds to help prevent infection.

God gave you your money, so you know, you don’t have to share it with your slaves because it’s God’s blessing.

God literally gave you wives and offspring.

God is partial to the whole, the smart, and the wealthy. And I’m really surprised Republicans don’t like Islam.

Then Mohammed launches into another Judgment Day fantasy where he enjoys describing the plight of the unbelievers.

God commands justice, and goodness, and generosity towards relatives. And He forbids immorality, and injustice, and oppression.

Just towards relatives?

More stuff about how unbelievers are horrible and misled by Satan and not because Mohammed hasn’t really offered us a lick of actual evidence.

But there was this one town that was doing really well, but they weren’t saying thanks enough to God for it, so God destroyed them.

“Those who invent lies and attribute them to God will not succeed.”

History says otherwise.

Let’s see, what else. Oh, Jews suck. Abraham was the first Muslim. You can retaliate but only up to the level of harm done to you, but you know, maybe you should just be patient and wait for God to smite them.


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