God is like a super big deal. Just really, really important. The Big Cheese, as it were.
Believe me about God. He’s super huge. Also believe me.
You don’t believe me? What is wrong with you?
It’s super clear that God is talking to me and giving me a message to pass along to you.
How? Shut up.
Why doesn’t he just talk to you too? Also, shut up.
Why aren’t you out there waging war for God?
God will totally pay you guys back. Double, I say!
If you guys don’t go wage for me… I mean God, on judgement day, you’re going to be shut out of the garden.
This life means nothing. It’s not important. It’s after you die that is the most important. This is a great message!
God gave you iron so you could go to war for me… I mean, Him.