An Infidel Reads the Quran: Surahs 107-114


Surah 107: Assistance

Hey, have you guys thought about the people who deny our religion? They hurt orphans, they don’t care about the poor. Woe unto the hypocrites.

There are, of course, good people of every faith and no faith who devote their lives to caring for the less fortunate. Muslims do not have a monopoly on good people in their ranks any more than Christians do.

In my personal experience, religion doesn’t really change who a man is at his core. An asshole is probably always going to be an asshole and a good person is probably always going to be a good person. They may have moments of moral or ethical failure, but character is pretty much constant.

 

Surah 108: Plenty

God says, “Yeah, I’ve given you enough. So suck it up. Those people who hate you are the real losers.”

 

Surah 109: The Disbelievers

So Mohammed says they should tell the unbelievers, “Hey, we’re not of the same faith, so let’s just see who’s right in the end.”

 

Surah 110: Victory

After we’ve conquered the world and everyone signs up for our religion, then you guys should get really serious about asking God to forgive you.

 

Surah 111: Thorns

Mohammed is really pissed off at his uncle, Abee Lahab and promises that he’s going to burn in a really bad hell. You know, as opposed to the good hells.

 

Surah 112: Monotheism

There’s only one God, he doesn’t have a son. Nanny nanny boo boo, Christians.

 

Surah 113: Daybreak:

Muslims are to say that they take refuge with the Lord of Daybreak against the evils that he created… So God unleashes evil and then you run to God?

Also wizards… Muslims have to take shelter with God from evil wizards.

And now I want a cross over battle between Mohammed and Voldemort.

 

Surah 114: Mankind

Say, “I seek refuge in the Lord of mankind from gossipers and genies.”

Okay, three-way crossover between Mohammed, Voldemort, and the Genie from Disney’s Aladdin.

 

That’s it…. I did it… I didn’t think I would do it some days, but I did it. I read the Quran. Okay, I read it in English, but I’m not going to spend years learning Arabic to read this book in the original.

 

I came into this book with an open mind. I was prepared to be stunned by the wisdom from God, but mostly, I was just stunned by the repetition. I’m not convinced God wrote this. There are scientific mistakes, Mohammed mangles Old Testament stories, there’s anti-Semitism, slavery is condoned, women are treated just as badly as they were under the Old Testament law…

 

There are good things in there, but they’re surrounded by a lot of bad things too.

 

Stylistically speaking, the book is rather dull. There are some interesting bits in there, but it’s mostly rehashing the same three or four stories and the same three or four points for 114 surahs. It’s a lot like reading through Leviticus. It’s a window into a time and culture that isn’t my own and doesn’t really resonate with me except for the really awful bits about killing unbelievers and apostates and how to treat your slaves that show the barbarism of the time and why mankind needs to move beyond tribalism if we’re going to have any hope of avoiding extinction.

 

I’m glad I read it now. I think it is important to read it, if only to gain some insight and understanding of one another and hope that we can embrace what is common between us all and live with the differences.

 

Thoughts and wishes for peace to you all.

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