KC: White Man’s Burden


Rayford is walking with Tsion admiring Jesus’ awesome landscaping and paving skills. They chat about the new regime and how Gentiles are now second-class citizens.

Yep. Jesus runs a racial apartheid state in fundamentalist utopia land. But it’s all okay, because this racial apartheid state is run by God, so you know, he won’t make Gentiles suffer.

Tsion must have noticed. “You rightly admire this handiwork,” he said, “because this road—if I may be so pedestrian as to call it that—is yet another reflection of the sinless beginning to the kingdom. I dare say it will be many years before we suffer the blights of war, abortion, murder, robbery, drugs, pornography—you name it.”

Sinless beginning includes racial apartheid.

Also, if God is running the government, why on Earth would he tolerate war? Seems pretty easy for him to stop. Just make the weapons go bye bye with God magic.

Abortion… why would there be abortion in a utopian society where there is food and resources for everyone? Only the wicked are supposed to die, so there would be no more death in child birth.

Murder… couldn’t God just make everyone heal like Wolverine? Again, you’ve already said that only the wicked die on their hundredth birthday.

Robbery… for fuck’s sake, again… this is supposed to be UTOPIA! Food, water, rivers of wine and milk, shit, you can just graze on the grass now and be full apparently, there is no need to rob. Do they really think that people just go out and rob for shits and giggles?

Drugs… to escape the hellish existence of paradise, right?

Pornography… if Jesus is against this, don’t you think he could end it since he runs the damn government and is supposed to be omniscient and omnipotent?

Your world does not make sense. Speaking of things that don’t make sense…

The next morning, as Cameron Williams lay on his back in his bedchamber, hands behind his head, he eagerly anticipated another day of service to his King.

Cameron, you will recall, is DEAD. He’s dead. He’s resurrected in what is called a glorified body. Meaning he no longer needs food, drink, oxygen, or rest. Why does he have a bedchamber and a bed and drapes that block out the sun that is too bright for his eyes apparently in PARADISE?

Today was the day of the celebration in honor of the wedding of the Lamb. All were invited to the marriage supper, and as Cameron showered and dressed…

AAARRRRRGH… glorified bodies smell apparently.

 …he was compelled to return to the new temple by way of the Highway of Holiness.

There’s God honoring people’s free will again.

Millions were on their way as part of the bride of Christ. The rest were companions of the bride or friends of the Bridegroom. The bride, of course, consisted of all born-again believers from the time of Pentecost until the Rapture.

Did you think that God was not a respecter of persons or that class divisions wouldn’t exist in the Kingdom of Heaven?

Fuck you. There are class divisions.

Pre-Rapture Christians are on top, though somehow also on the bottom as Gentiles, they get to marry and gay marry Jesus. Pre-Christian Jews are just friends of Jesus. And I guess post-Rapture Christians are friends of the church.

They all go to a big banquet and sit down at a table. Overhead the angels are watching and singing to God about how great he is, because that’s something that a completely all-powerful self-sufficient deity needs.

Oh and Jesus’ edict that everyone should be a vegetarian in paradise is bullshit.

Apparently the edict that men and women would find their sustenance somewhere other than in the flesh of animals had been lifted for this occasion, for as soon as Cameron found his place, the Lord Jesus Himself announced, “On this mountain I have provided a feast of choice pieces, a feast of wines on the lees, of fat things full of marrow, of well-refined wines on the lees. See, I have prepared my dinner; my oxen and fatted cattle are killed, and all things are ready. I have girded Myself and bid you sit to eat, and I will come and serve you.”

Yes, Jesus murdered a bunch of cows again.

Is human paradise really cow hell? Like are these all the sinner cows?

Seriously, why the hell can’t Jesus just make roast beef appear with God Magic?

This book is so fucking stupid.

We cut to Rayford now because the author hates us. Rayford is sad that his two Jewish mentors are moving to live with their tribes, because tribal separation is also a thing now in paradise.

Already friends and acquaintances expert in the knowledge of technology had begun trying to find the resources necessary to rebuild infrastructures. And from all over the world came reports that citizens were determined to rebuild mass communications methods, airplanes, and computers, restoring all the modern conveniences.

Honestly, if I have to say, “WHY CAN’T GOD JUST DO THIS INSTANTLY IN PARADISE?!?” one more time, I ‘m going to drink myself into a coma.

Also, all the dead people can teleport. Jesus teleported. And can’t they talk to each other with psychic communication like God is talking to them?

Rayford builds his house and hangs out at the Jesus Murdered My Parents orphanage where he wonders daily why some kids wouldn’t accept Jesus as their Lord and Savior.

But then Rayford and his first dead wife Irene feel that God wants them to go to Indonesia to build up that country, because even in paradise, the white man’s burden exists.

Representatives of all nations would make their annual sojourns to the temple, and it seemed apparent that Jesus wanted all the citizens of the world to enjoy the bounty of His new creation.

But he’s not going to do anything himself to actually accomplish that task.

Instead, Rayford Steel, white American, will save the people of Indonesia.

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