KC: ICE Angel… ICE Angel… Please be mine…

Before we can get to Kat’s meeting with Chloe, we jump back over to Abdullah who lets his zombie not-wife know that Jesus finally told him the plan. He’s supposed to go see the people of The Other Light and love them unconditionally.

This would have all been cleared up with a phone call or an email weeks ago.

Chloe Steele Williams pulled a sheet from the file folder and handed it to Ekaterina Risto, watching carefully for a response. The young woman squinted and seemed to be reading quickly. She appeared unable to speak.

“You know we’re fair here,” Chloe said. “I would like your side of this.”

Chloe says this right before she demonstrates that she already believes the bad report and isn’t interested in hearing Kat’s side.

“…But this says she has talked with me about these problems. Problems I didn’t even know I had. I don’t remember her talking with me about them at all. In fact, we haven’t talked, except for normal chitchat while working, for days.”

“Now, Ekaterina. These are summaries of your discussions. About your being tardy, taking too long of breaks, leaving early, being hard to find when team chores are scheduled, sitting with Kenny at the Noah appearance without permission, disagreeing with her in front of the staff.”

See, I have this piece of paper and I’m not interested in finding out whether or not it’s true. I just assume the worst of you, kid, because apparently despite being a zombie, I’m still an asshole.

“Is it possible for me to talk with her personally?”

“Face your accuser, you mean?”

“I guess.”

“But it appears you two have talked quite a bit, and your behavior has not changed.”

Really? Because Kat says they haven’t talked and you haven’t even followed up with her supervisor. Seems like the thing to do before you accuse someone of being a bad employee based solely on a piece of paper that just showed up on your desk this morning.

But finally Chloe decides to talk with Mattie, Kat’s supervisor and try to clear the matter up. If only there were an omniscient deity that was everywhere and could communicate telepathically with his zombie followers who could tell Chloe the truth and who actually wrote the report, but then we’d miss out on so much pointless drama.

“I am to speak on Jesus’ behalf,” Abdullah said. “Say what He would say if He encountered these people.”

“But the Bible foretells how Jesus will deal with His enemies at the end of the Millennium,” Yasmine said. “There will be no mercy, no patience.

But God is love and love is patient and kind… I guess unless you cross it and then love is pain and torture and lots of burning fire.

Chloe had long loved Mattie Cleveland. She was tall with short sandy hair and laughing eyes.

Hmm… do go on, book…

She had been raptured and returned at the Glorious Appearing, immediately gravitating toward children.

Disappointing on so many levels…

“Hey, Chloe,” she said as she entered. And as soon as she noticed Ekaterina, she said, “Kat! How’s my favorite new aide? Why the long face?”

“Your report,” Ekaterina said as the three sat.


Chloe handed it to her. Mattie read it with a furrowed brow, then glanced up at Chloe. “Where’d you get this?”

“It was in my box at the end of the day yesterday.”


“I’m sorry?”

“Wholly made up. I’ve never seen it, didn’t write it, never had these conversations with Kat. Don’t know a thing about it. She sat with Kenny with my permission, and as for the rest of it, totally fabricated. I’ve been watching this one from the first day to make sure she’s not too good to be true. I couldn’t ask for a better worker.”

And  I bet you feel really bad for being an asshole to Kat earlier, right, Chloe?

Chloe sat studying both women. “Then why does she want to be transferred out of your area?”

Oh, right. You’re an asshole.

So Kat tells Mattie that she really wants to Jesus more with the kids instead of sportsball and Mattie says, “Hey, you can Jesus more during sportsball.” And that makes Kat happy enough to stay.

“I’d love that, but how does that address the Qasim issue?”

“I noticed he was on your case a lot, but I couldn’t tell whether you found it annoying or charming, so I left it alone. He bothers you, I’ll put him in his place. How’s that?”

You do not cross Zombie Coach. Also Zombie Coach stinks at recognizing sexual harassment. Maybe it’s time to fire guy with history of sexual harassment.

Also, later, Kat will completely forget this situation when she gets an email telling her that er boyfriend is evil and automatically believes it without giving him a chance to explain.

“Whoever pulled this prank—and there’s no way they thought they could get away with it; I mean, how long did they think it would take me to check with you, Mattie?

Well, judging from how you were talking to Kat five minutes ago… probably never. They figured you’d never talk to Mattie.

It’s a lie, it defames someone, and it evidences someone who is not showing the love of Christ.

Oh, if only there were an omniscient deity who could communicate with you telepathically and solve this mystery!

Meanwhile, we go back to Rayford and his friends… Hi, Bruce’s unnamed zombie wife. I’m going to call you Tammy. Because I was watching Parks and Rec last night.

The preachers pulled no punches. They warned that God would again strike their land if they chose to ignore him. But they also thrilled the masses with the promises of the Lord.


He sounds nice.

Tsion Ben-Judah was holding forth one cool evening, telling a crowd of thousands, “Thus says the Lord of Hosts: ‘For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Thoughts of setting you on fire forever if you don’t do exactly what I say…

You shall fear the Lord your God and serve Him, and shall take oaths in His name.

Didn’t Jesus say don’t take oaths? Literally, he said don’t take oaths. Say yes or no and do it. And anything more than that is from the evil one.

Do Christians not read their bibles or do they just not notice the contradictions?

“ ‘For as the rain comes down, and the snow from heaven, and do not return there, but water the earth,

God does not know how the water cycle works. Yes, the rains and the snows return to the sky in the form of water vapor. It’s almost like an omniscient deity didn’t write the bible but some asshole who failed elementary school science did.

But it’s a particularly nice day-night so after Tsion is done unintentionally convincing me of atheism, they decide to camp out and tell stories.

Finally Tsion said, “Rayford, do you realize where we are?”

“I do, old friend. We’re not far from where you came through on your flight from Israel so many years ago. Tell the story. I don’t believe Mac and Bruce or the ladies have heard it.”

Or not. That story wasn’t exciting 10 books ago and it’s not going to be exciting here. You can almost hear Jerry Jenkins thinking, “PAGE FILLER! I NEED MORE PAGE FILLER HERE!”

“Well, okay. I had made my position clear on international television from Jerusalem that I, a rabbinical scholar, had come to the conclusion that all the prophecies of the Bible that pertained to the coming Messiah were fulfilled in the man Jesus. You can imagine the outcry. My family was slaughtered, and I was chased from the country.

I mean, I’m not an expert on Judaism or Jewish people, but it’s been my experience that when a Jewish person says, “I’m converting to Christianity!” most of his friends and family do not jump straight to murder as a reaction.

Tsion says how Cameron bought an old bus, and they drove from Israel to Egypt where a border station stopped them and a guard name Anis searched the van and found Tsion.

“He whispered hoarsely to me through clenched teeth in Hebrew, ‘You had better be who I think you are, or you are a dead man.’ What could I do? There was no more hiding, no hope in pretending I wasn’t there. I said to him, ‘Young man, my name is Tsion Ben-Judah.’

“Still holding my shirt in his fist and with his flashlight blinding me, he said, ‘Rabbi Ben-Judah, my name is Anis. Pray as you have never prayed before that my report will be believed. And now may the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face shine upon you and give you peace.’ As God is my witness, the young man stood and walked out of the bus. I lay there praising God with my tears until Cameron reboarded and drove away.”

“The strange thing was, I never found out whether the young Anis was an angel or a man, but I know he was sent from God.”

Chaim said, “I suspect that he was otherworldly, because much later I saw him outside the Garden Tomb—the same young man. Could it have been coincidence that he was assigned twice where our paths would intersect?”

“It was no accident,” came a new voice, causing Rayford and the others to jerk around. Standing just outside their shelter, the moon illuminating him and the fire dancing on his cheeks, was a man in silhouette. “I was your rear guard that night,” he said, “just as I am on this mission.”

And with that his image faded, and Rayford and the others fell on their faces, praising and thanking God.

Whooooooa… so let me get this straight… this angel got sent to Earth by God, joined the One World Government border patrol around Israel and hung out on this one road for God knows how long chatting with his partner and acting human until Buck and Tsion show up in an old bus. And then the angel doesn’t even know who Tsion is and threatens to murder him if he’s not Tsion and then tells Tsion to pray to God that his human partner believes the angel when he says the bus is empty and then after their gone, he what? Puts in his two week notice? Keeps playing border patrol guard until Jesus shows up?

None of this makes any sense and could also be much more of an interesting story than anything Jerry has actually written so far:

The Adventures of Anis, Border Patrol Angel.

Where is that book?


2 thoughts on “KC: ICE Angel… ICE Angel… Please be mine…

  1. Seed of Bismuth

    well technically the snow leeches into the ground, life and rivers then flows to the ocean, were the ocean is then turned into clouds so technically the water never “returns to heaven”

    Liked by 1 person


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