Category Archives: America

Will it Jew?

Sometimes when I read the news, I like to play a little game that I call “Will it Jew?”

“Will it Jew?” is a very easy game. You just take a quote from someone or from a story about someone who wants to discriminate against one group of people and replace their group’s name with “Jew”.

For instance, this:

Two conservative Christian groups in Texas believe that businesses and employers have the legal right to discriminate against LGBTQ workers on religious grounds, and they’re trying to get the courts to back them up.

Becomes this:

Two conservative Christian groups in Texas believe that businesses and employers have the legal right to discriminate against Jewish workers on religious grounds, and they’re trying to get the courts to back them up.

Or this:

The US Pastors Council and Texas Values, two nonprofit evangelical groups, filed multiple lawsuits in state and federal court this week, claiming that Christian businesses and churches have a constitutional right to fire — or not hire — LGBTQ workers.

Becomes this:

The US Pastors Council and Texas Values, two nonprofit evangelical groups, filed multiple lawsuits in state and federal court this week, claiming that Christian businesses and churches have a constitutional right to fire — or not hire — Jewish workers

Or this:

“Texas Values will not hire or retain practicing homosexuals or transgendered people as employees, because their lifestyles are contrary to the biblical, Judeo–Christian understandings…”.

Turns into this:

“Texas Values will not hire or retain practicing Jews or Jewish people as employees, because their lifestyles are contrary to the biblical… understandings…”

The point of “Will it Jew?” being, of course, that if you can replace the group you’re talking about with the word Jew and it sounds like something Hitler would say… maybe it’s time to rethink your position.

Feel free to play along on your own. I hope you find it enlightening.

One Nation Under God – 2

They sell the innocent for silver,
and the needy for a pair of sandals.

They trample on the heads of the poor
as on the dust of the ground
and deny justice to the oppressed.

“Now then, I will crush you
as a cart crushes when loaded with grain.

The swift will not escape,
the strong will not muster their strength,
and the warrior will not save his life.

I will tear down the winter house
along with the summer house;
the houses adorned with ivory will be destroyed
and the mansions will be demolished,”
declares the Lord.

There are those who hate the one who upholds justice in court
and detest the one who tells the truth.

You levy a straw tax on the poor
and impose a tax on their grain.
Therefore, though you have built stone mansions,
you will not live in them;
though you have planted lush vineyards,
you will not drink their wine.
For I know how many are your offenses
and how great your sins.

There are those who oppress the innocent and take bribes
and deprive the poor of justice in the courts.

Seek good, not evil,
that you may live.
Then the Lord God Almighty will be with you,
just as you say he is.
Hate evil, love good;
maintain justice in the courts.

“I hate, I despise your religious festivals;
your assemblies are a stench to me.
Even though you bring me burnt offerings and grain offerings,
I will not accept them.
Though you bring choice fellowship offerings,
I will have no regard for them.
Away with the noise of your songs!
I will not listen to the music of your harps.
But let justice roll on like a river,
righteousness like a never-failing stream!

One Nation Under God…

If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal.


If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.

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If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Trump Charity

Love is patient, love is kind.


It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Trump boaststrump boast 2

It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered,it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil 


but rejoices with the truth.


It always protects,



always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails.

He watches…

We tell our children that monsters don’t exist, but we lie.

In a town, he waits.

He is unassuming. You would not notice him if you passed him on the street. You do not notice him as he sits behind you in your college class or churches. You don’t notice him at the Wal-mart. Maybe you ride the bus or the subway together. You don’t notice him. He never seems to notice you.

Or maybe you do. Maybe you smile at him one morning. He smiles back or nods his head and you move on.  Maybe you notice him staring at you and he makes you uncomfortable. But you have dealt with creeps before. You forget him after you step off the bus and arrive at work or the store.

He waits.

He walks past the school where you drop your children off every weekday morning. He walks by your child’s high school.

And he waits.

Maybe he went to that high school. Maybe he was bullied. Maybe he bullied others. Maybe he walked through the halls like a ghost, never seen, never noticed. Maybe he had friends who cared for him.

But he waited. And he seethed.

And now he walks by the school every morning. He seethes.

The laughing and the smiling faces of your children make him angry. He watches you hug them and kiss them on the cheek and he seethes.

And he waits.

The anger and the pain fester.

He waits. Unknown. Unseen.

But he sees you.

And he waits.

He waits until the anger and pain rage within and he wants to share his anger and pain with the world.

With you.

With your children.

He stops waiting.

He walks to your child’s school.

He brings his guns.

We continue to pretend that monsters don’t exist.

The Trump-Kim talks

I don’t get political here as much anymore, but someone claiming to be a time traveler sent me a small clip from an audio file… and, well, if you live in Hawaii, you should probably consider moving to the mainland.

Trump: Kimmy, may I call you, Kimmy?
Kim: No. And may I say what large and impressive hands you have, Mr. President.
Trump: Thank you, Kimmy, I’m glad you noticed. Now look, we can’t have you building nukes that can hit America. Some of my voters live there.
Kim: Okay, we will stop new ICBM tests. (Because we’re confident in our existing supply.)
Trump: That is great news.
Kim: In exchange, we would like a formal end to the Korean war and the withdraw of your troops from the Demilitarized Zone.
Trump: I think we can do that. What about nuclear tests?
Kim: We will suspend nuclear tests. (Because our testing site collapsed.)
Trump: You are a great man. What can we do for you?
Kim: Renewed economic aid.
Trump: Done.
Kim: And lastly, we put the great name of Trump on our tallest, most impressive hotel, the Ryugyong Hotel that stands majestically over Pyongyang.
Trump: I knew you were okay. Everyone else tried to tell me you were a bad man, but I said, “I know Kimmy is a good guy. Great guy.”
Kim: Thank you, Mr. President. We would also like Hawaii.
Trump: Deal. It’s not even a part of the United States.


And so we lob more missiles at another country. By “we”, of course, I mean the President. We weren’t asked our opinion on the matter. Neither were our representatives, you know, the people who are actually supposed to be the ones who declare war.

Oh, I know, it’s not ‘war’, it’s a ‘limited action’.

And I know it’s not just this President who feels that he can unilaterally bomb the shit out of foreign countries for any reason. It sucked when the last five presidents did it. It sucks now.

Now I’m not an Assad or Putin lover or defender. Assad is a war criminal and he deserves the business end of a noose.

But maybe we should have a national discussion about whether or not we should be the ones bringing him to that noose. If it’s in our best interest. If there’s a better way to do it. If there’s a better solution for the innocent people of Syria. Like maybe letting more than 11 of them come to America as refugees.

And that’s the point, really. Our Congress should be the one making these decisions. And I know Paul Ryan claims that the 2001 AUMF allowed Bush Jr., Obama, and Trump to do whatever the fuck they wanted, but that argument doesn’t pass the bullshit test.

I don’t know…

I think the American people are so apathetic about what is being done in their name because we’re 150 years removed from the horrors of war being visited upon our own soil, we’re 70 years removed from the privations of war, and we’re 50 years removed from large numbers of flag draped coffins filled with dead conscripts coming home.

War is something that happens over there now. We all sit, fat, happy, and secure that it will never be our neighborhoods that will be shelled, our children who will never be blown to bits, and our blood that will never be spilled.

War is a news story. Nothing more. The innocent dead are easily forgotten by the time Wheel of Fortune comes on.

Lincoln’s Birthday

Today, we celebrate and honor Abraham Lincoln, our sixteenth president.

Lincoln was a Republican back in the days before the Republican Party became the party of Neo-Confederates and started appealing to Nazis. In fact, perhaps rather awkwardly for today’s Alt-Right minions, all those statues of traitors they defend today? Yeah, good ol’ Abe was the man responsible for turning those bastards into losers.

So, for no reason, I offer up this quote:

“Elections belong to the people. It’s their decision. If they decide to turn their back on the fire and burn their behinds, then they will just have to sit on their blisters.” -Abraham Lincoln

Air America

I’m on a plane.

Looking out the window, a gremlin is busy tearing up shit on the wing.

I look across the aisle to the other window. Birds have flown into the engine and it’s on fire.

Behind me, a flight attendant is holding off a pack of hungry zombies with the drink cart and bags of peanuts.

The intercom comes on. Finally, the pilot will tell us what to do.

“This is Captain Trump, everything is fine. This is the best flight that ever was. Also, there’s a Korean airliner in our way, but I’m not moving. He has to move out of our way. Out of my way.”

No one else seems to pay attention. They’re all busy watching the in-flight movie: “Dumb and Dumber.”

I put my head between my knees and scream.

Being white…


I think they miss the point. It’s not “okay” to be white. It’s f***ing great.

Seriously, it is.

I’m a white, straight, CIS, nominally Christian male and holy crap, did I hit the jackpot being born in America.

The police don’t bother me. They don’t pull me over because of my skin color. They don’t stop and frisk me because I “look like a criminal.” They don’t shoot at me or my kids. They even call me “Sir” and don’t assume I’m a criminal when they look at me.

Everyone in power cares about what I have to say, since I’m also in that age demographic of 35-45.

I see positive representations of me everywhere in the media. If there’s a hero in a movie, he probably looks like I would look if I had six months of a personal trainer and dietician.

Hell, even in books, the white male hero can be nebbish and bookish and still kick ass. Thanks, Dan Brown and Tom Hanks.

I get more call backs for job interviews. I get more credit offers. Heck, even after a bankruptcy, they kept coming with 0% financing, would you also like a car loan, Sir? Can I get you a house too?

And I can live just about anywhere without racist shitheads harassing me or attacking and killing my son for walking in the neighborhood carrying Skittles and iced tea.

Nobody would object to me dating their daughter simply because of my skin tone.

When people look at me, they don’t cross the street if I’m walking towards them. They make positive judgments about me.

I’m not harassed at work or on the street. I’m not grabbed at by horny assholes. No one has ever called me into a meeting and exposed their genitals to me.

No one has ever passed a law specifically for me telling me where to pee.

And that is all fucking great.

For all the other problems in my life, those things are great.

The problem is that none of this would be true if I were born to a black couple.

Or a Latino couple.

Or if I were born gay.

Or if I were born trans.

Or if I were a Muslim

Or a Jew.

Or even a woman.

And that is the point.

So maybe instead of making life all about ME ME ME ME ME… we should start to put ourselves into the shoes of other people. People with different lives, different experiences. People who have experienced things I have not. And perhaps we should have compassion.

And more than compassion, perhaps we should get angry at the injustice that not everyone has what I’ve been given simply by an accident of birth. Perhaps we should stand with them and work for and educate others to pursue justice and basic human dignity and equality for all.

Free Speech

For the record, the 1st amendment, within limits of public safety, prohibits the government from punishing you because you say something the powers in charge do not like.

The 1st amendment does NOT prohibit your fellow citizens from standing up and shouting back at you that you’re a racist shithead Nazi traitor. Nor does it prevent your employer from deciding they don’t want a racist shithead Nazi traitor representing their company. Nor does it protect you from being called a racist shithead Nazi traitor on the Internet when you say or act like a racist shithead Nazi traitor.

Nor does it prevent this blogger from saying that your racist shithead Nazi ‘Free Speech’ rallies are like a toddler shitting his pants and wiping it on the wall and being surprised when people who don’t shit their pants or show it in public are mad at him.

Here endeth the lesson.