So, okay, there’s this God. There’s this God and he’s sitting in a great void, so he says, “Let there be light.” Big bang happens. Particles and shit go everywhere. So this God, right? Still alone in a big pile of particle shit. But he’s literally got all eternity to wait and work, so eventually all of those particles come together to form the first stars, then planets. So He’s sitting in a nearly infinite universe He’s just created with billions and billions of galaxies each full of billions and billions of stars and planets. Like almost infinite diversity in the universe already.
So this God whether by design or through the natural course of the events He set in motion picks a planet or maybe more, who knows, right? And says, “Let there be life.” A few little proteins coalesce and form a few rudimentary living things. Microscopic life. And they multiply and they mutate and soon… well, soon, on a galactic scale, there’s trillions of the little things floating around, but they don’t look like the first living things anymore. All of that reproduction and mutation has caused significant little changes here and there. Some were good, some were bad. But now we have a lot of microscopic bio-diversity.
And soon (again, cosmically speaking) we’ve got some of these microscopic cells that sort of develop into more complex critters and then more branch out and develop into more complex creatures and soon we have an ocean full of life and millions of distinct animals. Some of which start to crawl or flop about on land, and boom… land animals.
Amphibians, lizards, insects, dinosaurs, meteors, mammals, monkeys, primates, and then some primates give birth to a baby primate that has something… that spark of self-awareness and intelligence that sets him or her above their ancestors. Human beings develop and spread. It’s a rough go at first, but soon there are millions of us wandering about the Earth building civilizations, asking questions, each one of us unique and individual. Millions becomes hundreds of millions.
So then God, right? Remember him? God sitting in an infinite universe of infinite stars and near infinite planets looks down at one world where there is uncountable diversity of life and hundreds of millions of homo sapiens each unique and individual and then God looks down and shouts at the hundreds of millions of homo sapiens on one tiny rock orbiting one star in this infinite universe and this God shouts, “HEY! You guys have to all fit into exactly two categories and it depends on your dangly bits or lack thereof.”
Best fucking joke in the universe, right?