Tag Archives: bad movies

Happy Life Day

As we all gather round for the upcoming holiday, the release of Episode VII, it’s a good time to sit down with family and reflect on just how godawful mixing Star Wars and Christmas have been in the past.

No, not the locusts! AHHHHHH!!!!

Two of main interests are religion and movies and often when the two get together it’s a giant Reese’s Peanut Butter cup of over the top B-movie so mind-jaringly bad that the movie becomes good again.

So imagine how happy I was to see this:


Yes, that is Nic Cage.

Yes, that is Left Behind, the overly dramatic fictional account of Evangelical eschatology, whereby a billion or so Christians disappear and most of the world just shrugs and says, “Meh. There was probably a trap door underneath them. Now if Jesus can turn the water in the water cooler into Heineken for our company office party, then I’ll sign up at the local parish.”

So I can only imagine what this will be like.

No, wait, I have an idea:

And out of the smoke locusts came down on the earth and were given power like that of scorpions of the earth. They were told not to harm the grass of the earth or any plant or tree, but only those people who did not have the seal of God on their foreheads. They were not allowed to kill them but only to torture them for five months. And the agony they suffered was like that of the sting of a scorpion when it strikes. During those days people will seek death but will not find it; they will long to die, but death will elude them.