Tag Archives: Humor

The temptations of Jesus…


“Wait, so you’re god, but god sent you out here to the wilderness for forty days with no food and no water?”

“Yeah… it’s… complicated.”

“Well, why don’t you just make some bread to eat out of these rocks?”

“Man will not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.”

“You know that’s bullshit, right? Like if you don’t eat, you’ll starve to death. Like those millions of kids every year who aren’t magically sustained by “your word.””

“Ouch…”

“Yeah, I’m not the one sitting on my ass letting it happen.”

“God will provide…”

“Like he provides for the aforementioned starving children?”

“Stop that! You’re ruining the script!”

“Okay… what else… you’re going to be persecuted and hated by men… right… why don’t you leap off the Temple spire and have some angels catch you. That should convince everyone you’re god.”

“You shall not tempt the Lord your God…”

“You’re kidding?”

“No…”

“I mean, you’re tempting God right now by saying he’s gonna feed you magically and keep you from dying instead of taking it into your own hands to feed yourself like any sane person would.”

“Yeah, but-“

“’I sent you a boat and a helicopter!’ Never heard that joke?”

“You’re really making this worse.”

“What if I bring you food? Does that make me god? Or would you have to turn it down and wait for literal manna from heaven?”

“I don’t…”

“Hell, what if I gave you the world on a plate? Made you Caesar Jesus of Nazareth without all the nasty hatred and persecution and death? World peace. Jesus reigns forever. Physical literal proof of god for all mankind forever. No one goes to hell with me and the boys. I dare say that would make me a better god than Jehovah.”

“Stop it!”

“I’m better than Jeho-vah! I’m better than Je-ho-vah!”

“Just get out of here, would you!?”

“Alright, but don’t come crying to me when Jehovah fucks you over and billions of people still go to hell and 99% of your followers turn out to be assholes.”

The Great Cosmic Prank


So, okay, there’s this God. There’s this God and he’s sitting in a great void, so he says, “Let there be light.” Big bang happens. Particles and shit go everywhere. So this God, right? Still alone in a big pile of particle shit. But he’s literally got all eternity to wait and work, so eventually all of those particles come together to form the first stars, then planets. So He’s sitting in a nearly infinite universe He’s just created with billions and billions of galaxies each full of billions and billions of stars and planets. Like almost infinite diversity in the universe already.

So this God whether by design or through the natural course of the events He set in motion picks a planet or maybe more, who knows, right? And says, “Let there be life.” A few little proteins coalesce and form a few rudimentary living things. Microscopic life. And they multiply and they mutate and soon… well, soon, on a galactic scale, there’s trillions of the little things floating around, but they don’t look like the first living things anymore. All of that reproduction and mutation has caused significant little changes here and there. Some were good, some were bad. But now we have a lot of microscopic bio-diversity.

And soon (again, cosmically speaking) we’ve got some of these microscopic cells that sort of develop into more complex critters and then more branch out and develop into more complex creatures and soon we have an ocean full of life and millions of distinct animals. Some of which start to crawl or flop about on land, and boom… land animals.

Amphibians, lizards, insects, dinosaurs, meteors, mammals, monkeys, primates, and then some primates give birth to a baby primate that has something… that spark of self-awareness and intelligence that sets him or her above their ancestors. Human beings develop and spread. It’s a rough go at first, but soon there are millions of us wandering about the Earth building civilizations, asking questions, each one of us unique and individual. Millions becomes hundreds of millions.

So then God, right? Remember him? God sitting in an infinite universe of infinite stars and near infinite planets looks down at one world where there is uncountable diversity of life and hundreds of millions of homo sapiens each unique and individual and then God looks down and shouts at the hundreds of millions of homo sapiens on one tiny rock orbiting one star in this infinite universe and this God shouts,  “HEY! You guys have to all fit into exactly two categories and it depends on your dangly bits or lack thereof.”

Best fucking joke in the universe, right?

A modest healthcare proposal…


Someone has leaked some of the negotiations between Congress and the White House on reforming healthcare:

“Okay, let’s start this meeting. We need a strategy on reforming health care. Bitch?”

“It’s Mitch, Mr. President.”

“Not from where I’m sitting. Bitch? What’s the strategy for getting this through the Senate.”

“Well, many of our colleagues our convinced that forcing 22 million people off of health insurance would be bad for their electoral chances, but several of them are convinced that we’re not forcing enough people off of health care. Right now we’re trying to figure out how to be more cruel… but in a nice way. Senator Cruz suggested a compromise where some poor people can have health insurance, but only if they eat a live puppy.”

“Puppies are good. People love puppies. I like it. We’ll get good ratings. I, of course, prefer pussy. But I get it. Paula?”

“Paul, Mr. President.”

“Are you into this whole puppy eating thing?”

“The House Freedom caucus objects to the government giving free food to anyone, even if it is a rather cute puppy that they must horribly butcher and eat raw. They suggest that people have to go and buy a puppy on their own to eat.”

“But what if they can’t afford their own puppy?”

“The Freedom caucus suggested as an alternative that they could eat one of their children. That’ll not only feed them, but also free up some of their income so they can pay higher insurance premiums.”

“I like it. Always a parent’s prerogative to eat the weaker of their spawn. Tried to do that with Tiffany, but she was just so fast and nimble. Could never get the drop on her. Just like her old man. Let’s go with that then.”

The TL:DR Bible – Psalm 119


Chapter 119:

Aleph is for Alephant

How happy you’ll be if you walk in the law of God (because you won’t be stoned to death.)

How happy you’ll be if you seek God with all your heart.

Job: Wrong!

I hope I keep the law because being stoned to death would suck.

 

Beth is for Bethany Cooper whom I had a crush on the 2nd grade

How can a young man keep his way pure?

By living according to the law (so he’ll know not to fornicate, but to buy a young girl as a concubine instead)

Oh, Lord, keep me in your law, I tell everyone of your ordinances, including the 2,000 chapters on interior decorating your tent in Leviticus.

I will meditate and delight in your law… or just kind of ignore it and pretend I know what’s in there and that it’s all good and consistent with a loving God and not at least partially the product of Bronze Age culture.

 

Gimel is for… uh… he was the rival of Macy’s Department store, right?

Okay, I live and keep your word, you’re law is awesome, wonderful, perfect, I’m obsessed with it…

Yeah, now I’m really sure  he hasn’t read any of it. I remember my trek through those books. 80% of it was mind-numbingly dull, 15% was horrid, and 5% was actually pretty good and progressive for its time.

 

Daleth is for… Dr. Who villains

I was down, but you can revive me by your word. Teach me your law. I really need to know in precise detail the many, many ways you want animal exterminated. Exterminated.

 

He is for that guy over there.

Teach me your law, it’s so good and wonderful and this is not at all sounding like a guy who’s sucking up to the author when it’s evident he hasn’t read the book.

 

Vav is for Vavoline motor oil… 

I obey and teach and really love your commandments. The part of slavery gets me right here every time.

 

Zayin is for Goku, the world’s first super Zayin.

Your law gives me comfort even though things are crap.

 

Heth is for Beth’s male twin. We really wanted rhyming names

The Lord is the only thing I truly care about. His law is super double-plus good. And I only hang out with guys who also want to hump this book.

 

Teth is for Im-O-Teth, the mummy…

You’ve been good to me, God, helping me keep your law. Before you beat me, I was just out there doing my own thing and having fun, but now I stone people who pick up firewood on Saturdays.

 

Yodh is for a little green Jedi Master who lives on Dagobah.

Seriously, I will hike up my robes and go to town on this book right now, O Lord.

 

Kaph is one that I can’t think of a pun for…

Seriously, I lie in bed at night thinking of the words of your law. The thick bold pen strokes… the smell of papyrus… I wonder when you will comfort me.

Oh, and because this is a psalm, lots of people are out to get me and kill me, so help me with those assholes, please.

 

Lamedh is what Mary had for dinner after she got tired of that dumb sheep stalking her everywhere.

If it wasn’t for how much I love your law, I would have given up all hope and let those men kill me. You complete me, book. You complete me.

 

Mem is for Mom spoken with a speech impediment.

Your law is so great, I’m smarter than all my teachers with their facts and science nonsense.

Your law tastes really sweet in my mouth…. Good night, everybody!

 

Nun is for those stuck in a habit

I really love your law. Also remember the bad guys. Do something about them, please. But I’m super cool and have kept all of your law, unlike Jerry over there who wears polyester with wool blends. Bloody heathen.

 

Samekh is for “Really, underneath our clothes and skin, aren’t we all really the samekh?”

I really hate the heathen, but I love your laws. And again… bad guys over there… help?

 

Ayin is for a really bad author who ended up living off of the welfare state. Yes, fanboys, look it up. And fuck John Galt.

Hey, God, I’m super cool. I’m kind of dating your law, so could you please help me out with those guys over there trying to kill me. Sorry to keep mentioning it, but I ran out of things to say 121 verses ago.

 

Pe is for… you figure it out.

Your law is wonderful, especially the bits about stoning rape victims because they lived in a city. Before your law, I wouldn’t have known who to kill.

 

Tsadhe is for an old pervy French noble who was into whips…

He really loves the freaking law. I get it.

 

Qoph is for the vaccine you should get for whooping qoph.

I keep crying out to you and you don’t answer. So I’m crying out some more.

 

Resh is something you should consult a dermatologist about

Help me out and your law is totally good. Bats ARE birds if you say so, O Lord.

 

Shin… these all sound like words that might be splashed across the screen as sound effects on the old Batman TV show.

QOPH! SHIN! TSADHE!

He has enemies he wants God to take care of and he’s currently making sweet, sweet love to Deuteronomy.

 

Tav is for tavern, where all parties must eventually go to pick up their next quest

Hey, has this guy mentioned how much he loves the law?

Happy Life Day


As we all gather round for the upcoming holiday, the release of Episode VII, it’s a good time to sit down with family and reflect on just how godawful mixing Star Wars and Christmas have been in the past.

A few minor corrections…


Dr. Ben Carson gave this statement today to the press regarding the revelation that despite his claims to the contrary, he did not receive a full scholarship to West Point:
“Thank you all for coming. At the advice of my campaign manager and our legal team, I would like to clear up a few misconceptions about my past.

“To start with, contrary to claims made in my autobiography, I did not single-handedly stop a group of international terrorists from killing hostages at the Nakatomi building. That was the fictional character John McLane. I apologize to Mr. Bruce Willis and would like to say that I truly enjoy his movies, including Blind Date… which is also a lie. Nobody enjoyed Blind Date.

“Secondly, on page 257, where I said, I was the daring X-wing pilot that fired the proton torpedoes that destroyed the Death Star. That is also factually incorrect. That was Luke Skywalker. Apologies to the Disney Corporation and I hope this will convince you to withdraw any pending litigation.

“Regarding page 391. I was never known as the Boy Who Lived. Nor did I train to be a wizard. That was Harry Potter. The lightning bolt ‘scar’ on my forehead was drawn with a Sharpie. Apologies to J.K.Rowling and the Sharpie corporation.

“Likewise on page 448, a minor correction: I did not carry the one ring to Mt. Doom. The only ring I’ve ever carried or worn has been my wedding ring. Which does not make me invisible. Apologies to the Tolkien Estate and New Line Cinema.

“I did not beat the Kobyashi Maru test. That was James Kirk.

“I did not stop the bad guy with a golden gun, Scaramanga, that was James Bond…

“And I was not the first apostle martyred for my faith, that was St. James.

“And lastly, I was not known as the godfather of soul, that would be James Brown… apologies to everyone named James. Thank you. There will be no questions…”

A helpful primer for Christians regarding SCOTUS’ decision today…


So what happened today?

The Supreme Court has legalized gay marriage today in a 5-4 decision that applies to all 50 states. Meaning that gay people can now marry one another anywhere in the country.

So what does this mean for me? 

Honestly? Probably nothing. I’m assuming if you’re a Christian concerned about this ruling that you’re not gay, so it doesn’t really affect you at all.

So this doesn’t invalidate my marriage?

Nope. You’re still married.

But isn’t my marriage less special now? 

Is it? Do you still love your spouse?

Yeah. 

Then no. You’re marriage is the same as it was yesterday.

But what about religious liberty? 

What about it?

Isn’t the gay agenda going to force all Christians to accept their lifestyle and outlaw the bible and preaching that homosexuality is a sin from the pulpit as ‘hate’ speech? 

Okay, first, I would guess that most gay people aren’t evil monsters out to destroy you personally. Second, you mention religious liberty, so you’ve obviously heard of the First Amendment, which would prohibit any attempt by the government (Federal, State, or Local) to suppress you or your pastor’s ability to call being gay a sin all day long.

Now, that won’t stop gay people from saying that your insistence on saying that makes you a bigot, because that is also personal speech protected by the 1st Amendment.

I’m not sure I like that.

Well, then you probably shouldn’t go around telling random gay strangers that they are depraved sinners.

What about my church or my church’s school? Will they be forced to hire gay people and offer benefits to gay spouses? 

Are they forced to hire gay people now?

No.

There’s you’re answer. The courts have typically given religious institutions a great deal of latitude when it comes to who they hire. Typically, the employees must agree with a statement of faith and conduct. If you’re church or church school doesn’t want to hire gay people, they don’t really have to.

Where the law gets a bit murky is if a religious institution is running a for-profit business that serves the general public or runs a service that accepts state or Federal funds. In those cases, you may be held to existing anti-discrimination statutes by the courts.

Well… what if I own a business like a bakery and a gay couple want to buy a wedding cake? 

Personally, my answer would be to bake them the cake, go to the wedding if they invite you, hug them, dance with them, wish them the best, befriend the couple, and when you’ve earned the right to do so, then you can bring up your faith.

I’m not sure Jesus would approve of that. 

Jesus was constantly accused of hanging out with sinners, prostitutes, and traitorous tax collectors that defrauded the people. He was also accused of loving wine a bit too much. Even if Jesus thinks that gay folks are sinners, I’m sure he’d understand.

What if I still don’t feel comfortable baking that cake? 

One answer is that you should do it because it’s your job. And part of that job is serving all customers under the law regardless of race, ethnicity, gender, sexual orientation, or creeds.

Another answer is which would you rather you and your faith be known as, the person who said “No because your love and marriage are sinful and God will judge you” or the person who bakes the best damn cake ever, greets them with a smile, and hugs them?

Yet another answer would be to ask why you don’t feel comfortable doing that? Is it just because the customers are gay? Would you a heterosexual divorcee’s second wedding? Would it occur to you to ask them about their past marital status?

But I don’t like the government telling me I have to cater their wedding! 

I don’t like speed laws or paying taxes. It’s the price we pay to live in a civilized society. So render to Caesar and all that.

Okay, but what about Sodom and Gomorrah and fire and brimstone and all that?

Somehow if God didn’t destroy America for slavery, ethnic cleansing, Jim Crow and the “strange fruit” of Southern trees, Imperialistic violence and massacres in the Philippines, rampant gun violence, and hell, let’s throw in the Iraq War, I think we’ll be okay now that Adam and Steve can say, “I do.”

Relax.

So, there’s really nothing in this ruling that affects me? 

Nope. Not at all.

Then why is everyone so angry? 

Beats me. Probably fear of change. Politicians using fear to con people into giving them money or to distract them from realizing how badly we’re all getting screwed by the constant collaboration between corporations and governments, but that’s just my guess.

So, uh… how about those Dodgers? 

I’m an Angels fan.

I’m so sorry. 

Yeah, me too.

Star Trek vs. Star Wars, Round 1


In honor of a new Star Wars movie coming out in December, I thought I’d revisit one of the classic nerd fights and rewatch the six Star Wars movies and pit them against their numerical counterparts in the Star Trek universe. So without further ado, let’s jump into Star Trek: The Motion Picture vs. Star Wars: Episode I: The Phantom Menace.

Star Trek: The Motion Picture:

Characters: It’s the old Enterprise crew. Though for half the time, Kirk is a dick, Spock is back to full Vulcan mode, and the other characters are ignored. Still, the old chemistry flares up every now and again and when it does, there’s a likability to this group that isn’t easily replicated.  Steven Collins gives the movie a bit of an ick factor now.

Plot: It’s a hard sci-fi plot heavy on the science fiction and light on any action. A machine we built returns to us hundreds of years later and neither of us remember the relationship we had. A lot about evolving beyond our limitations, etc. It’s a decent story overall. It just really needs a bit of editing.

Villain: It’s a space cloud for half of the movie. This is NEVER a good thing.

The rest of the movie, V’ger is a 20-something year old woman in a mini-tunic. There are some interesting alien ship designs, even if they’re completely impractical. All in all V’ger is not the most compelling villain for most of the movie.

Problems:

  • Opening with a black screen and music isn’t a great idea. This is just padding for a movie that doesn’t need it.
  • Seeing Stephen Collins in anything is kind of creepy now.
  • Not enough editing.
  • This movie really likes its space shots of spaceship models.
  • The recurring theme in Star Trek movies: the Enterprise is still under repair/manned by an inexperienced crew/not ready for combat, but She’s. The. Only. Ship. Available. Hence Starfleet is full of incompetents to have zero ready combat ships near Earth.
  • Did I mention the lack of editing?
  • The clunky love conquers all, even hyper-advanced artificial intelligences resolution.

How to make it better:

  • Get rid of the filler. We don’t need five minutes of looking at the new Enterprise. We don’t need 20 minutes of looking at the Enterprise’s viewscreen’s image of V’ger’s exterior. We don’t need a black screen with an orchestral opening.
  • Get rid of the whole “Enterprise isn’t ready for action yet.” It’s simply a way to add unnecessary drama at the expense of making Starfleet and Engineering look incompetent.

Overall: It’s an okay 2:10 movie with some likable moments, but not enough to actually win me over.  If the entire movie were about 1:30 – 1:40, I think I’d add another 3 points to my score, but as it stands, I’ll give it a 5/10.

Star Wars: Episode 1: The Phantom Menace

Preface: I have a bad feeling about this. At least I did when I noticed that most of my notes contained profanity.

Characters: Let’s break this down quickly:

Obi Wan Kenobi: Okay

Qui-Gon Jinn: Unnecessary, but Liam Neeson is great as a Jedi that doesn’t always follow the rules.

Anakin: … Okay, Jake Lloyd, if you ever read this… this is NOT your fault. I’m sorry everyone gave you so much crap for this. You didn’t deserve it.  The problem was with the script and the idea of making Anakin a kid to begin with, not with you. You did a good job with what you were given.

Padme: Natalie Portman is lifeless in this role. She has moments when the good actor in her shines through, but otherwise there’s nothing. Also, she’s supposed to be 14, but looks like an adult young lady. Per IMDB, when this movie came out, she was 18, so it’s a bit creepy that she and Anakin have a weird attraction going on.

Darth Maul: Good, but ultimately a wasted opportunity for a good villain.

Jar Jar: Fuck this movie.

Plot: The Trade Federation invades Naboo over a dispute regarding taxation of Outer Rim trade routes at the behest of a Sith Lord, who hopes to force the Queen of Naboo into signing a treaty recognizing Trade Federation control of her planet and it’s up to two Jedi to stop this. Meanwhile, an entirely pointless hour happens which involves Tatooine, pod racing, and exciting Senatorial debates about procedure. Also Jar Jar Binks. Seriously, fuck this movie.

Villain: Darth Maul is definitely menacing, but never has the chance to develop into more than a thug. Darth Sidious (aka the future Emperor) is good as always, but makes few appearances. The Trade Federation… George… you created the evil Empire quintessential space Nazi villains. Were you having an off day when you wrote this?

I mean… I guess it’s mildly better than the space cloud portion of V’ger, but V’ger still manages to feel more threatening anyway.

Problems:

  • There’s an hour that seriously could be cut out without the loss of anything related to the plot. From the point the Queen leaves Naboo to the point where she returns. Her entire trip to Coruscant does nothing to advance the main plot of the movie. She could have stayed on Naboo and accomplished the same thing she did at the end.
  • The Trade Federation are not compelling villains. They’re goofy, cowardly, and evoke sort of a racist vibe.
  • Kid Anakin. Look, I understand the idea to show Darth Vader as an innocent, good child and how even the most monstrous among us start with a clean slate to highlight the loss of innocence and personal tragedy. But you only have three movies to do the following: build up and show a friendship between Anakin and Obi Wan, show Anakin slowly being pushed over the edge, and convince us all that Anakin’s fall matters and has emotional resonance. That’s six hours. Spending time with Kid Anakin wastes two of those hours.
  • Jar Jar Binks. I know kids like him. I know he has his defenders. But every time he said or did anything, I swore at my TV.

How to make it better:  Everyone has an idea on how to make these movies better, but a few ideas:

  • I’ll steal an idea from this video (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VgICnbC2-_Y). Make Naboo into Alderaan. Spending time on Alderaan and getting to know people there would make the destruction of Alderaan in episode 4 more of a kick to the gut.
  • The Trade Federation are not compelling villains. Let’s make the main villain a well-respected Republic officer who goes rogue with his fleet. His stated reasons for doing so are to highlight the Republic’s neglect of the Outer Rim region, his actual reasons are to retrieve a sentient droid army that was locked away in a hidden vault.
  • Anakin is no longer a child. He’s a teenager (16-19) who is a pilot on a smuggling ship that Obi Wan and his apprentice Padme Organa (a member of the royal family who was given to the Jedi as a child) use to infiltrate the besieged Alderaan to find out what’s going on with our rogue Republic Admiral.
  • I’ll also steal an idea from Guardians of the Galaxy and make Jar Jar into a sarcastic blaster toting Ewok who fell in with the smugglers and sort of just never left.
  • R2 is also with Anakin’s crew.
  • Taking a page from The Old Republic game, replace Gunguns with Killiks.
  • Obi Wan takes Anakin under his wing sensing his potential. Anakin and Padme have the standard pre-romantic bickering.
  • Keep the whole movie on Alderaan, with a few cuts to the Senate and Senator Palpatine using the crisis to get himself the Chancellorship.
  • Darth Maul wounds Obi Wan in the ending duel, giving Anakin enough anger to choke the Sith Lord and chuck him down a reactor shaft. He gets better.

Random thoughts while watching this movie:

  • Hey, you know what’s almost as bad as making me look at a black screen and listen to music for the first five minutes of your movie? A long screed about how the taxation of trade routes to outlying star systems is in dispute and a trade embargo against Naboo.
  • It’s the goddamned Neimodians. Also almost as bad as a space cloud… well… worse in that the space cloud never spoke in a racist accent.
  • And battle droids. Yay.
  • Okay, I can think of at least five ways to use telekinesis to deal with droidekas. 1.) Use the Force to crush them like an aluminum can. 2.) Yank out their blasting arms. 3.) Lift them up and point their guns at the ceiling while the other Jedi stabs them from underneath. 4.) Lift them up and point their guns away from me until I find an escape pod/airlock and shove them out into space. 5.) Make them face each other so if they shoot, they shoot each other. Qui-Gon cuts through the blast door. Movie over. Mercifully.
  • Where the fuck is Anakin? This is supposed to be his story and Obi Wan’s story.
  • Jar Jar. Fuck this movie.
  • Jar Jar. Fuck. This. Movie.
  • Ex-squeeze me… FUCK.
  • I’m only 12 minutes in and I already want to start fast forwarding.
  • Why I am doing this to myself?
  • I need to go home and rethink my life.
  • The underwater city is pretty cool looking. Nice special effects.
  • How Wude… FUCK YOU…
  • “Are you an angel?” To quote Harrison Ford, “You can type this shit, George, but you sure can’t say it.”
  • Why… why… why?
  • CGI Yoda is an abomination.
  • This entire trip to Coruscant accomplished nothing except adding an hour to the movie.
  • Really? The Naboo had time to program their fighter’s auto-pilots to fly their Starfighters to the droid control ship? Really? Sure, why not at this point? Anything to end the movie more quickly.
  • Qui Gon’s death depends entirely on Obi Wan forgetting that he used the Force earlier in the movie to run superhumanly fast.
  • Darth Maul’s method of death does make Obi Wan’s “I have the high ground!” reasoning in Episode III even dumber.

Overall: I hate this movie. It has a few redeeming factors that I mentioned above, but ultimately it just made me angry watching it. 2/10.

Winner: I’ll be honest,  I thought Star Wars would win this round before I rewatched the movies. But overall, if you had to ask me which movie I thought was better and which one I’d rather rewatch, it would be Star Trek: The Motion Picture.

Star Trek gets the point and takes an early 1-0 lead.

And how many kids do you have, good sir?


When you consider the source, this may make you laugh:

Pope Francis has chided couples who choose not to have children , saying the decision was a “selfish” act.

The statement, which he made in his general audience in St Peter’s Square, will be seen as especially controversial in Italy, which has recorded a steady drop in its birth rate for decades.

“A society with a greedy generation, that doesn’t want to surround itself with children, that considers them above all worrisome, a weight, a risk, is a depressed society,” the pope said.

“The choice to not have children is selfish. Life rejuvenates and acquires energy when it multiplies: It is enriched, not impoverished.”

I dare say the good Pontiff is not practicing what he preaches here, you know… unless he’s secretly being like the good medieval Pontiffs and has like 80 illegitimate kids out there. In which case, I think I might like him even more.

Still, while I do think we as a species should procreate, there are some folks out there who definitely should not have children or be in charge of children: the idiots who I read about repeatedly who leave loaded guns around small kids come to mind.