Nerd News Roundup

Family Guy/The Simpsons

If you’re a fan of animated shows about fat guys who have wives that rightfully should have smothered them with a pillow in their sleep years ago, then good news: there is an apparent crossover show between the two long time animated hits that will air in 2014.

In “The Simpsons Guy” episode of FAMILY GUY, Peter (Seth MacFarlane) and the Griffins get out of dodge and end up in Springfield, where they are greeted by a friendly stranger named Homer Simpson (guest voice Dan Castellaneta), who welcomes his new “albino” friends with open arms. The families get along famously: Stewie (MacFarlane) becomes obsessed with Bart (guest voice Nancy Cartwright) and his old-fashioned pranks; Lisa (guest voice Yeardley Smith) takes Meg (Mila Kunis) under her wing and is determined to find something – anything – at which she excels; Marge (guest voice Julie Kavner) and Lois (Alex Borstein) ditch housework for a little bonding; and Peter and Homer fight over the best beer in town – Pawtucket vs Duff.

Batman

AICN reports on a memo that says there will be a Batman movie in 2015. While Batman-on-Film reports that there is chatter that the movie would be a Batman Beyond adaptation about a crotchety   old Bruce Wayne finding a new protégé to take his place on the streets of Gotham.

Also, for what it’s worth, Harry’s doc also continues the ludicrous charade that Warner Bros. will get it act together long enough to make a Justice League movie by 2015.

X-men

Here is Bishop, the Time Travelling Mutant from the dystopian future:

He’s the one on the left.

And here is the head of one of the Giant Nazi Death Robots:

I should have known better than to sell my body to the head of Richard Nixon!

Thor: The Dark World

Reportedly, Benicio Del Toro will make an appearance in the Thor sequel, possibly in a post-credits scene to lead us into Guardians of the Galaxy, where he’ll reportedly be the principle bad guy of that movie, the Collector. Which, admittedly sounds less like a supervillain and more like an annoying fanboy at a comic con that wouldn’t leave the comic book writer alone, so the annoyed writer made him into supervillain in his comic books, so he could cathartically have his heroes punch the little bastard in the face on a regular basis.

Sherlock

More TV news from ComicCon, there was a Sherlock panel that was introduced with this video from stars Martin Freeman and Benedict Cumberbatch:

You can read more about the panel here.

 

 

Nerd News Roundup

Terminator

At some point, humanity will create an Artificial Intelligence. When this AI goes rogue and decides to destroy us or enslave us all, as AIs do, I think in large part, it will be because of how we used our brains and the limited gift of time we were given to churn out endless sequels of diminishing quality in exchange for little pieces of paper that we all said had value.

Anyway, Arnold will likely be back playing a Terminator in a sequel no one wants and even fewer care about.

But it’s funny if you think of a hive minded AI watching Terminator Salvation over our charred and bleached skeletons being as ashamed to admit that we were his ancestor as we are to admit the same about monkeys.

Captain America

More set pics showing Falcon in flight. Alright, technically, he’s hanging from wires, but use your imagination, Mr. Smarty Pants Reader.

Justice League

It’s funny how everyone continues to pretend that this movie will ever happen.

But if someone switches on an Improbability drive near Hollywood and it does get made, expect to see a new Batman. Which is fine with me, because a.) this movie will never be made, and b.) The Dark Knight Rises sort of made me think that three movies was about ½ a movie too long for this version of Batman anyway.

Seriously, I just rewatched Batman Begins, and I am willing to argue that it was the best of the three movies plot and character-wise.

That said, I also fully expect any Justice League movie to be an absolute train wreck.

Nerd News Roundup

Spiderman 2.2

Here’s a look at Paul Giamatti’s Rhino facing off with Spider-man.

Look, officer, I was just on my way to a comicon when this freak punches me in the face.

I’m guessing the CGI guys will be adding in an actual Rhino looking costume later, because having Spider-man fight Paul Giamatti with a home-made cosplay suit of the Loader mech from Aliens while highly entertaining, probably wouldn’t fit with the overall tone of the Spider-man franchise.

Guardians of the Galaxy:

Hitfix has an assortment of rumors about the upcoming, seemingly insane, space opera that Marvel’s working on.

John C. Reily is reportedly in talks to play Rhomann Dey who serves as a liaison between SHIELD and the Guardians and who may also be the leader of a band of intergalactic space cops.

Space cops, Star Lord, talking animals, Ents, and green girls.

If they manage to pull this off, there’s nothing the Marvel film guys can’t do.

Superman

There’s a bunch of Superman rumors up based on content from an upcoming book. Hiding them because they are spoilery.

Nerd News Roundup

Justice League

In the running gag that is Warner Bros. attempts to convince us that this is a movie that they’re actually planning to make, the Internet occasionally picks up a crazy rumor that keeps the running gag, well… running.

This is that rumor: the supposed plot of the supposed Justice League supposed movie which will supposedly open in 2015.

It’s basically BS and I would take it with a grain of salt the size of Jupiter, but it’s there if you want to read what is basically fan fiction for a movie that will never be made.

But… but… I read it on the Internet, it has to be true, Robin!

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

Lord knows that while I do appreciate the capitalist impulse that drove a writer to take a public domain work and do something profoundly stupid with it, the idea of bringing it to the big screen is simply an awful one.

Between Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter and the forthcoming reimagining of Mary Shelley’s classic character as Frankenstein: Puncher of Demons, I think we’ve already reached the pinnacle of movie making and anything else would be a colossal letdown.

You know, unless it involved Hercules: Godzilla Stomper.

Wait… holy crap! This was actually something that happened?!? Why didn’t you people tell me that?!

I am so disappointed in you all right now.

Spider-man 2-2: The Spidey who Loved Me

Slashfilm.com has a video of some set pics that include a stunt man wearing a latex Paul Giamatti mask. Giamatti, who as you will recall, looks like this:

will be playing this guy:

Far Cry 3: Blood Dragon

Kotaku has a video posted of what might be the best video game tutorial level ever. NSFW due to language.

Nerd News Roundup

Star Trek Into Darkness

There’s a picture of Benedict Cumberbatch’s ship, the USS Vengeance:

Iron Man 3

Slashfilm has their review posted from last night’s screening. Sounds promising to me.

Justice League

Everyone is still pretending that this movie is going to happen. And the latest bit involves news that if anyone is going to direct this movie which probably won’t happen it’s going to be Zach Snyder.

Given the positive reception I’ve heard about the Man of Steel movie, this isn’t surprising, but still, I think, generally overestimates Warner Bros. competence with its non-Batman superhero properties.

Exhibit A

X-men

Bryan Singer has confirmed that mutants Bishop and Warpath will be in his upcoming sequel to First Class.

Bishop is a time travelling mutant from a dystopian future were mutants are herded into concentration camps and he became a paramilitary trooper, worked as a lackey for future Gambit in exchange for Gambit uploading his sister’s consciousness into a holographic computer, before Bishop travelled back to our time to catch time travelling escaped convicts, alternatively fought and helped the X-men as the plot demanded, saved the X-men from the psychic manifestation of Professor Xavier and Magneto’s merged consciousness’ (Seriously… don’t ask…)

Bishop then went a little wonky thinking that a baby would lead to dystopia and chased her and Cyclops and Jean Grey’s clone’s (it’s a long story…)  son Cable (also from the future, as I said… long story) through time in order to kill her before she grew up and did something to destroy the world, where along the way he teamed up with Cable’s evil clone brother Stryfe, because comics, that’s why…

Nerd News Roundup

GI Joe:

If I have to choose between the two, I’d rather you continue to support the Joes and let Transformers die a well-deserved, fiery death in the deepest pits of hell.

So I’m glad you people got the first half of the equation right and paid (world-wide) 132 million dollars to see GI Joe: Retaliation where ninjas fought each other on cliffs, as opposed to the less well-received GI Joe:Retailiation which involved Duke, Scarlett, and Snake Eyes getting a job at a Forever 21 outlet.

Paramount executives had this to say while announcing they were making another one:

Bioshock:

Hey, kids, are you sad that the Bioshock movie isn’t happening? Upset that your PS3 has completely crapped out after 3 years while other far older systems are ringing in their Silver anniversary in your home and you can’t play the new Bioshock game and you have to console yourself with playing the original HALO once again on your still working X-Box, thank you very much Sony.

Sigh… I’m not bitter.

Someone has helpfully spent three days of their life that they’ll never get back chronicling, editing, and compiling their entire game experience from the opening cinematic to the last. As with all things, it’s up on You Tube now, io9 has it embedded here, which is where I found it.

Justice League Dark

Guillermo Del Toro continues his overly-elaborate April Fools’ Day prank on nerds that is Justice League Dark by letting us know that he’s got his movie’s ‘bible’ all worked out and has settled on John Constantine as the lead. (Though I’m guessing we’re not going to see Keanu reprise the role that made a 1,000 nerds’ heads explode in rage.)

On Justice League Dark, or Dark Universe, what we’re doing is we finished the bible. Then we’re going to start the screenplay with a writer we hope we can announce very soon. What I’m doing is the lead character that guides us through that is Constantine. Blonde. He is basically trying to recruit these guys. On Etrigan, I’m using Jason Blood in the time of Merlin. We get to their origin through the story. We don’t make the origin story at the top. We find it out as they each have mysteries to solve. Swamp Thing is at peace with who he is, but Deadman still needs to figure out who shot him. It’s all woven in. When I was a kid, my two favorite characters in the whole DC Universe were Etrigan and Swamp Thing, so I’m in heaven.

It’s worth remembering that Del Toro has somewhere between a bajillionty and a googleplex of pitches and ideas and scripts in various states of progress, so chances are he’ll be dead long before he gets to this one, and the Universe will likely experience heat death long before a Justice League movie of any sort ever makes it out of Warner Brothers.

 

Nerd News Roundup

Resident Evil

From Shock Till You Drop (via AICN) comes the news that we’re getting yet another Resident Evil movie.

Sigh…

Seriously, people, why are you buying tickets for these movies? It’s like you don’t even know me at all.

Stop it. I can only imagine that the only reason you’re seeing this is Milla Jovovich with a gun, so when this 6^th (sigh) installment of the franchise comes out in 2014, if you really feel the need to go see it, I would like you to stop and google ‘Milla Jovovich shooting guns’. You’ll save yourself 20 dollars (and save me my sanity knowing that I live in a world where these movies continue to exist.)

Iron Man 3

Here’s a new trailer.

Justice League

Contrary to the rumors yesterday, despite Christopher Nolan’s agreement with Warner to take the helm of their DC Universe, this does not mean that Christian Bale will be back as Batman.

It’s not all good news though– CBM’s source says Bale will not be reprising the Batman role, as recent reports have said. And though there hasn’t been word one way or another about The Dark Knight writer David S. Goyer jumping on board Justice League and rewriting Will Beall’s rumored scrapped script. “If Bale is coming back and Goyer is penning, it’s news to Warner Bros.,” said the source.

I’m alright with that. Nolan’s trilogy was far more ‘reality’ based than a movie with Superman, Wonder Woman and Green Lantern could possibly be. Which is to say that I can’t imagine them existing in the current Nolanverse.

Spider-man 2-2

Director Mark Webb tweeted this out. And if I had to guess, I would say that this is what you get when you hire an 8 foot tall guy in a Rhino costume as your valet.

Nerd News Roundup

DC Universe

Alright, more rumors. Last go around, the script for the Justice League movie scheduled for 2015 was thrown out and a new one was being commissioned by Warner Bros.

Today from Latino Review via AICN, there is word that the Warner Bros. execs have been so pleased with the results of Man of Steel that they have opted (or are planning on opting) to turn the entire DC movie universe over to the Nolan brothers, Zach Snyder, and screenwriter David Goyer.

Look, I’ve got no idea how serious this is, but if nothing else, it has made me want to see Man of Steel in the theaters this summer, so mission accomplished Warner Bros. PR people.

Tomorrowland

Well, the first rumored plot involved a secret government action that attempted to recruit Walt Disney to tell the world that we had made contact with aliens.

This rumored plot involves an alternate dimension, a 50’s sci-fi seeming utopia based on Tomorrowland, and crazy geniuses played by Hugh Laurie and robots.

I am a sucker for failed utopia stories. So once again, true or not, well done Disney PR people. I now really want to see this movie.

X-men

Another day, another actor signed on to the X-men First Class sequel. This time it’s Omar Sy playing an as yet unspecified role. Which I’ve been told is encouraging news.

Also, io9 reports that Halle Barry is reportedly in talks to come back and appear as Storm. Which… is not as encouraging…

With the full casts from both franchises seemingly coming together in one movie, as well as a bunch of new ancillary supporting characters, this is a seriously ambitious movie and I hope it doesn’t end up as a train wreck

Riddick

Here’s Vin Diesel’s titular anti-hero giving someone a very bad day.

Which… yeah, I can’t begin to muster any feelings about this movie except my standard “unnecessary sequels are unnecessary” bit.

Star Wars

Best. Parents. Ever.

 

 

Nerd News Roundup

Justice League

The Justice League movie, you know, the one that Warner Bros. has repeatedly said they’d like to make, commissioned scripts for, thrown scripts into the fire, said they’d really, truly like to make it, recommissioned scripts, thrown those into the fire, said okay, but this time we really, truly mean it when we say we’d like to make a Justice League movie, ordered a new script for it, and yesterday, they promptly threw that script into the fire.

But it’s really, truly coming out in 2015…trust us.

Here’s a thought, folks… hire Bruce Timm and Paul Dini to write and direct and stay out of the way. They already did an entire Justice League series for you. I think they might have an understanding of how to write these characters.

 

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

Okay, this isn’t really nerd news, just another example of Hollywood pissing on your childhood in the hopes of wringing a few more dollars out of America.

Repeat after me: unnecessary reboots are unnecessary.

 

Need for Speed

I honestly had no idea that this was something that existed. But apparently they are making a Need for Speed movie and they cast their female lead, Dakota Johnson of the late Ben and Kate TV series.

I’m guessing we’ll be getting a lot of car porn in the finest cinematic tradition of the Fast and Furious series, although, who knows, given the insanity of most video game adaptations, we might end up with the tale of a man who needs to drive to Mars to pick up milk for his baby and ends up getting involved in a Martian mafia plot.

 

Star Trek intO Darkness

Anyway, the latest rumor, and take this one with a huge grain of salt, is that someone might have leaked who Benedict Cumberbatch might really be playing and you can find that here, if you so choose, by clicking on the link and looking at the URL for the page you land on.

Of course, this could also be some web developer or intern’s prank, so do with that what you will.

 

Amazing Spider-Man 2

Lastly, there’s this photo sent out by Director Mark Webb, of locker #14, which in the Ultimate Spider-man comics is where Oscorp stored Venom. So will Venom be a part of the sequel? Or is this just setting things up for part 3? Who knows, but that doesn’t stop the internet from speculating.

Your crazy Batman, Superman, and Justice League rumor of the day…

Alright, so I’ve been spoiled on the Dark Knight Rises (still haven’t gotten around to seeing it.) But apparently…

SPOILER ALERT